J. Kevin Butcher's Blog

My men’s group is reading “Letters to Marc about Jesus” written by the late Henri Nouwen.  These are letters to Nouwen’s unbelieving but spiritually seeking nephew about Nouwen’s take on the true meaning of the spiritual life.  In the first letter, Nouwen writes these words:

“Countless questions, problems, discussions, and difficulties always demand one’s attention.  Despite this, when I look back over the last thirty years of my life, I can say that, for me, the person of Jesus has come to be more and more important.  Increasingly, what matters is getting to know Jesus and living in solidarity with him.  At one time I was so immersed in problems of church and society that my whole life had become a sort of drawn-out, wearisome discussion.  Jesus had been pushed into the background; he had himself become just another problem.  Fortunately, it hasn’t stayed that way.  Jesus has stepped out in front again and asked me, ‘And you, who do you say that I am?’  It has become clearer to me than ever that my personal relationship with Jesus is the heart of my existence.”

I really don’t have words to describe how much Nouwen’s thoughts echo my own.  To be honest, religion – even Christianity – makes me so tired.  I’m so done with the endless philosophical debates concerning the pros and cons of Christianity vs. Islam vs. Buddhism vs. Judaism vs. Hinduism vs. atheism vs. agnosticism vs. Roman Catholicism vs. Protestantism vs. premillennialism vs. amillennialism vs. Calvinism vs. Arminianism and trust me, there are a million more “isms” that I could list – and I’m sick of them all.  They make me puke and arguing about them makes me puke some more.

But Jesus of Nazareth…what he taught – “blessed are the meek for they shall inherit the earth”…how he treated people – lepers and prostitutes and the demon possessed and murderers and everyone, including religious leaders who were humble enough to seek him…how he died – so powerfully and others focused that one crucified next to him stopped cursing him and realized he must be a king and humbly asked if he could be a part of his kingdom…and how he inauspiciously but very historically came out of the tomb and beat death and how his authentic followers – wherever they are in the world they bring shalom and healing and reconciliation…you see, this Jesus, well I CAN’T GET ENOUGH OF HIM.  I just can’t.  I want to be like Him.  I want to be with Him.  I love Him.  Like the two friends in Luke 24, it is because of Jesus that my heart burns within me…it is because of Him that I believe life is worth living and that there is hope for the world.

It is because of Jesus, the heart of my existence, that I feel alive.
Without Him…I wouldn’t give a crap about my next breath.

Last night I went to church to open the door for those who come to pray for an hour between 6-7 p.m.  Turned out the door was already open so I took care of a few things and then decided to go into the sanctuary…to pray with those who were praying.

There was a new girl there…a young lady with some obvious challenges.  I won’t say her name and I’m going to withhold most details of her story to protect her anonymity – but she has just come to live with someone at Hope because the place where she was formerly living was literally not fit for humans.  I spent some time praying with one individual and then another individual…and then I came over to where the new girl was sitting and I sat down in the pew right in front of her.  She looked so very, very sad and troubled.  I introduced myself and then put my hand on her arm and told her how glad I was to meet her and then I embraced her and told her I loved her.  And then I just sat with her for a moment or two…sharing that this was a safe place and we’re all just a bunch of human beings who hang out with each other around the person of Jesus…and pointed to the three crosses hanging from our stained glass window at the front of the sanctuary.  And then we sat for a little more.

Finally she leaned her head over near mine and began to share a deep and significant struggle she is facing right now – a struggle I sensed she had probably been dealing with her entire young life.  And then she said, “Will you pray for me?”  And I leaned in and put my arm around her and began to stroke her tightly curled hair and I poured my heart out to the Father in behalf of His young, troubled daughter.  I begged Him to draw close to her, to heal her wounds and take away her pain.  I asked Him to let her know, deep inside her heart, that He loves her and will never leave her…never, ever…never ever.  And while I prayed I hugged her tightly over the pew as a father would embrace a daughter – and when I looked up at the end of our prayer the tears were streaming down her face…the face of this girl I had just met 20 minutes earlier in our little prayer time.  I kissed her on the cheek, told her I loved her…and that I and we would be here for her all the way…because that’s what love does.

And as I walked out of the sanctuary a few moments later, I struggle to describe the feeling but let me just say that I knew that the Father had drawn me into that room to meet with one of His daughters who needed an earthly father for a moment and that by meeting with his wounded little girl…I had somehow been with Jesus.

After preaching on God being the giver of good and perfect gifts…and the fact that He is always, always giving…He never stops giving gifts to His kids…I went home and had an experience that made it so very clear, one more time, just exactly WHY He gives to us so perfectly and perpetually.

I was holding my granddaughter Ada, looking into her eyes and talking to her – and I found myself asking her if she wanted to go to the zoo with me.  Of course, she’s only 7 weeks old and not quite ready for the zoo yet – but that’s beside the point.   I told her about all the animals I wanted to show her – the zebras and the ground hogs [Carla said, “You mean prairie dogs, don’t you?” and as usual she was right] and the lions who just sit there but are pretty cool to look at anyway.  And then I said, “Ada, I want to buy you a big Coke and then we’ll have a hot dog or two with mustard and relish and then we’ll get some cotton candy when we’re done.”  And I think she started fussing a little and her mother took her to feed her so I didn’t get a chance to tell her about the cool souvenir shops where I would buy her one of everything if she wanted it – and I also didn’t get a chance to tell her about taking her to the Tiger game and the African American History Museum and the DIA.  I had so much fun even THINKING about the places I want to take Ada and the gifts and presents I want to buy her and of course, the gift of simply being with her and holding her hand while we walk and carrying her on my shoulders when she is tired.  I’m telling you – I was literally overwhelmed with delight…even thinking about giving to my precious little Ada.

And then, in an instant, in that moment…I got a glimpse of why the Father gives and gives and gives and keeps on giving good and perfect gifts to us.  He loves me…He loves you so much.  And He loves loving us.  Look around you today – He’s giving to you…good gifts, perfect gifts…right now…and He’s loving  it…because He loves you so very much.

Regularly folks ask me, “Everything good?” and regularly I answer, “Everything?  Big word.”  I know they usually aren’t speaking literally…but I am.  I don’t expect “everything” to be good until the King comes with His Kingdom and “with righteousness judges the poor and decides with equity for the meek of the earth…and with the breath of His lips He slays the wicked…and the wolf shall dwell with the lamb…and the earth shall be full of the knowledge of the Lord…”  [Isaiah 11:1-9]  In the meanwhile, we’ve got war and we’ve got mess.  Is there any joy?  Is “anything” going right enough that we can say “it is good”?  Of course!  God is constantly giving us good and perfect gifts [like our families and friends and daily bread and the Tigers in first place]…and constantly answering prayer [like for forgiveness and strength and wisdom and safety]…and constantly giving victory in various battles – so Paul can realistically call us to “Rejoice always.  Again, I’m telling you ‘REJOICE’!”  [Philippians 4:3]

But the tenor of our lives here, on this side of eternity, still seems to be that of a sojourner that is always traveling, never home…a warrior that faces constant onslaught from an enemy that wants to kill us and never sleeps…a redeemed human being whose body is the temple of God but who nevertheless many days feels trapped in a tomb of rotting flesh as we fight illness and self and sin…a son or daughter that knows they are loved by a Heavenly Father but longs to be held ever closer – even physically touched and hugged and kissed – and LONGS to hear His voice more loudly and clearly calling us His Beloved.

It ain’t no joke.  And it is incredibly intense.

So, how do we survive?  In fact, how do we overcome?  Of course – the truth and the promise that we can never be separated from the love of our God in Jesus Christ our Lord.  [Romans 8:31-38]  Of course.  But in terms of flesh and bones and touch and words spoken to our face – how do we survive?  How do we overcome?  Eugene Peterson paraphrases Paul:

“The way God designed our bodies is a model for understanding our lives together as a church: every part dependent on every other part, the parts we mention and the parts we don’t, the parts we see and the parts we don’t. If one part hurts, every other part is involved in the hurt, and in the healing. If one part flourishes, every other part enters into the exuberance.  You are Christ’s body—that’s who you are! You must never forget this.”

I think we tend to take Paul’s words as optional.  Like, “Ain’t Paul cute?  Ain’t that a nice little picture of how the community of Jesus’ followers might function if they ever get around to it?”  But I think he is dead serious.  He’s not talking fluff.  He’s trying to tell us how to be a “band of brothers and sisters” who have each other’s back in the battle until the last shot is fired.  I think he’s saying  – “If you follow Jesus, do your part to be present to your warrior brothers and sisters around you – because if you don’t – THE INTENSITY WILL CRUSH THEM.  But if we each reach out and do our thing with those we see who need us – everyone survives, everyone flourishes…the entire body of Christ wins.  So, know this:  everyone is needed.  Everyone counts.  Everyone’s gift, everyone’s personality, everyone’s touch.  EVERYONE, GET IN THE GAME!!  We cannot survive, we cannot overcome…without you.”

Last night at the end of our men’s group, we decided to pick one of the brothers and speak words of affirmation to him.  It was amazing to watch this man’s face and heart light up and grow and even heal right in front of us, in my living room…simply because some brothers spoke some affirming truth about his character, his heart, his love, his journey, his growth as a follower of Jesus and as a man.  As he walked out the door last night, the affirmed brother said to me, “I didn’t know that kind of thing, that kind of feeling, that kind of encouragement existed.  It was my first time.  Thanks.”

It is incredibly intense out there.  Ask the Father to show you, today, who might need YOU.  And get about whatever He calls you to do, with them, for them in Jesus’ name.