Jesus, the heart of my existence
My men’s group is reading “Letters to Marc about Jesus” written by the late Henri Nouwen. These are letters to Nouwen’s unbelieving but spiritually seeking nephew about Nouwen’s take on the true meaning of the spiritual life. In the first letter, Nouwen writes these words:
“Countless questions, problems, discussions, and difficulties always demand one’s attention. Despite this, when I look back over the last thirty years of my life, I can say that, for me, the person of Jesus has come to be more and more important. Increasingly, what matters is getting to know Jesus and living in solidarity with him. At one time I was so immersed in problems of church and society that my whole life had become a sort of drawn-out, wearisome discussion. Jesus had been pushed into the background; he had himself become just another problem. Fortunately, it hasn’t stayed that way. Jesus has stepped out in front again and asked me, ‘And you, who do you say that I am?’ It has become clearer to me than ever that my personal relationship with Jesus is the heart of my existence.”
I really don’t have words to describe how much Nouwen’s thoughts echo my own. To be honest, religion – even Christianity – makes me so tired. I’m so done with the endless philosophical debates concerning the pros and cons of Christianity vs. Islam vs. Buddhism vs. Judaism vs. Hinduism vs. atheism vs. agnosticism vs. Roman Catholicism vs. Protestantism vs. premillennialism vs. amillennialism vs. Calvinism vs. Arminianism and trust me, there are a million more “isms” that I could list – and I’m sick of them all. They make me puke and arguing about them makes me puke some more.
But Jesus of Nazareth…what he taught – “blessed are the meek for they shall inherit the earth”…how he treated people – lepers and prostitutes and the demon possessed and murderers and everyone, including religious leaders who were humble enough to seek him…how he died – so powerfully and others focused that one crucified next to him stopped cursing him and realized he must be a king and humbly asked if he could be a part of his kingdom…and how he inauspiciously but very historically came out of the tomb and beat death and how his authentic followers – wherever they are in the world they bring shalom and healing and reconciliation…you see, this Jesus, well I CAN’T GET ENOUGH OF HIM. I just can’t. I want to be like Him. I want to be with Him. I love Him. Like the two friends in Luke 24, it is because of Jesus that my heart burns within me…it is because of Him that I believe life is worth living and that there is hope for the world.
It is because of Jesus, the heart of my existence, that I feel alive.
Without Him…I wouldn’t give a crap about my next breath.
Recent dealings with a loved one who has rejected Christ has brought me to the same feelings about religion. So much harm has been done in the name of religion – and as you say – even Christianity. It makes me reluctant to call myself a Christian. Although I believe that my loved one is deceived I do think that some of the ways we practice our beliefs can do more harm than good. Religion takes our eyes off the One who is the source of life and truth and places our focus on externals. Jesus must become the center of all we do and we must take care to love as He loved – even – and especially with those who disagree with our beliefs
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I am so thankful that I can take my next breath with confidence that His love and mercy and grace will overcome.
Everyone I know, that seems to be walking a relational love path with king Jesus……despises religion….. I’ve been religion bashing for decades but I love the way you both swayed the subject line to the most essential point……”Without Him…I wouldn’t give a crap about my next breath”…….
That chapter really touched me and I am thrilled that we are reading this book. Our group spent a ton of time on the phrase “heart of my existence” and whether we can honestly say that we feel the same way. We had a lot of debate about whether our day to day priorities and concerns really show that he is the “heart of my existence.” Some felt that your day to day priorities don’t impact that because of what can be deep down inside of you. I feel like if Christ is truly the “heart of my existence”, then my day to day priorities and actions should reflect that….and if they are not, then I need to do some searching and praying about whether I truly feel that way. Anyway, great chapter and there is nothing in this world that has touched my heart the way that he has. Nothing else could have pulled me out of the darkness that I was once in.
whoops….not sure what happened and why my reply is listed under “calley86″….should be Marc Carlson